Whose Gaze Is It Anyway? Dressing Beyond the Male Lens
By: Natalie Kalman
The concept of the male vs. female gaze has been widely discussed in media, film, and fashion. It’s a theory that how we perceive beauty, style, and self-expression is influenced by societal norms, often shaped by heterosexual male perspectives. But what happens when you step outside of that lens? What happens when you choose to dress for yourself rather than for the approval of the male gaze?
The male gaze tends to focus on women through the lens of desirability, often prioritizing physical attraction over personal expression. For instance, many men do not notice subtle changes in a woman's appearance, such as a subtle change in a haircut or color. There is also a popular belief in 'natural beauty' being superior, yet many fail recognize the women they praise for wearing 'no makeup' are often still wearing natural looking makeup. Highlighting a disconnect between perception and reality. What is seen as effortless beauty often involves intention and skill. This lack of awareness reinforces an unrealistic standard of beauty, where natural and enhanced features are easily confused.
The male gaze has also had a lasting impact on what is considered 'sexy' in women's fashion. Tight-fitting clothes, body-hugging silhouettes, and conventionally feminine outfits are often favored, while styles with loser cuts, less shape or made for comfort over style, are considered lazy ot boyish. This perspective dominates much of media and pop culture. In movies, female characters are often dressed and framed to emphasize their physical appeal. Even strong female leads in action movies are often given impractical outfits like tight leather suits and high heels because they are designed to be appealing rather than functional.
On the other hand, the female gaze is rooted in self-awareness, creativity, and an appreciation of detail. Women frequently notice and acknowledge small changes in someone's style, whether it is a new pair of earrings, a fresh manicure, or a carefully chosen layering piece. Instead of dressing to cater to external validation, the female gaze values how an outfit feels and expresses individuality over simply looking attractive to others.
Dressing under the female gaze means embracing fashion as a form of self-expression and not just a just a tool for attraction. Instead of emphasizing body shape, styling choices such as baggy clothes, layering, and oversized fits are embraced for their aesthetic appeal rather than their ability to accentuate curves. Confidence and comfort play a significant role, as women often wear outfits that may not be conventionally ‘flattering’ in terms of cinching the waist or highlighting the bust but still feel powerful and stylish in their own right. Effort and creativity in fashion are appreciated, whether through bold color combinations, unique silhouettes, or a mix of textures creating visual interest.
Personally, I love styling baggy clothes, often shopping in the men’s aisle or choosing unisex pieces to achieve a more masculine aesthetic. While these outfits may not be traditionally ‘sexy’ under the heterosexual male gaze, they make me feel confident, comfortable, and creatively free. I do not dress to accentuate my waist or highlight certain features. I dress because I love fashion and the way it allows me to express myself. Wearing oversized silhouettes, layering different textures, and playing with proportions is freeing. It shifts the focus from 'looking good for others' to 'feeling good for myself.' It’s about an appreciation of fashion as an art form rather than just a means of attraction.
Recognizing the difference between the male and female gaze can be liberating becasue it allows us to rethink the way we view style and beauty, moving beyond narrow societal expectations. When you stop dressing for validation and start dressing for yourself, fashion becomes a space for creativity and confidence rather than restriction.
So whether it’s wearing baggy clothes, rocking bold prints, or layering in a way not considered ‘flattering’ by traditional standards, the key is to embrace what makes YOU feel good. Because at the end of the day, the most powerful thing you can wear is confidence-and that doesn’t need anyone else’s approval.
